Saturday, August 6, 2016

Gilmore Girls// list 4

Best Lines of each Gilmore Girls episode:
Are you ready???

Season 1:
Episode 1: Are you my new daddy?? –Rory

People are particularly dumb today. I can’t talk to any more of them. – Michel

Episode 2: Drug dealers take the bus.”- Emily

Episode 3: I’m sure you could borrow your mother’s golf clubs that are upstairs collecting dust like the rest of her potential.” –Emily

He says he’s your father, but why he’d volunteer that information willingly, I don’t know.”- Michel

Episode 4: “…or Il duce as he is more commonly referred to in your home.” –Max.

Episode 5: I don’t think Claudia is planning on dying a second time. – Emily

She looked like she was sleeping. I thought she was asleep, so I nudged her and she didn't wake. I gave her a push and she fell off the couch, and since I'd just waxed the floor, she went shooting across the room. And then she knocked over the lamp and she still didn't move. I knew it was over. –Babette

Episode 6: Because of the pudding. The pudding!

Episode 12: I want to be the girl. –Sookie
But you are the girl, that’s why we’re having this confusing conversation. – Lorelai

You know the one great thing we all learned from this? I’m a babe. – Lorelai

Episode 15:  Charles Manson is completely freaked out by you right now!- Lorelai

Episode 16: What have you done now? -Richard
Nothing. I’m putting the bunny back with his friends and I sort of, uh, massacred them a little bit, but that’s life in the jungle isn’t it?- Lorelai
Just sit with your hands in your lap. –Richard

Episode 18: I need the hat rack. -Emily
The fish flies at night. – Lorelai

Episode 19: My first complete sentence was big head want dolly .- Lorelai
But let’s be honest- the entire opening conversation is just absolutely amazing!!!

Episode 21:  Look, I’ve made my peace with the fact that everyone that calls here is a notch above brain dead and that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner. And usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui. - Michel
So you’re sleepy? -Lorelai
It’s a metaphysical angst. - Michel
So you want to go to beddy-bye.  – Lorelai

Season 2:
Episode 1: You should walk down the isle with something that smells really good. –Rory
Pot Roast. – Lorelai

Episode 2: Your head is much too big for a veil. -Emily

Episode 6: The wrong one [lipstick] and I’ll look like a hooker…or teacher. – Libby

Episode 7: If you want to eat outside, find a gazelle. Make up your mind and I’ll be inside. – Emily.

Episode 8: Lorelei would you like me to put a mirror in front of you while you talk? –Emily

There was a phony murder? - Mia
Yea, the town’s too dull for a real one. – Lorelai

Episode 9:  Sookie: Swear. Raise your right hand and say, ‘May Destiny’s Child break up if I count these blueberries.’
Michel: Pick another group.
Sookie: Nope.
Michel: I hate you! Hate you!

Episode 12: How tall are you? – Richard
Why, want to dance? –Dean
No, but thank you. - Richard

Episode 13: I think we should get married. – Jackson
Are you pregnant? –Sookie

Episode 15:  This isn’t about the fascists, who, by the way, had their faults, but their parks were spotless. –Taylor

Episode 16: That’s a pretty color, what is that? -Emily
It’s called vicious trollop. – Lorelai
Oh stop it. Now why would you name a lipstick something like that? -Emily
Because dirty whore was taken? – Lorelai

Episode 17: I four fourths don’t care. –Lorelai

Episode 19: Hey why isn’t Jackson here?- Lorelai
Oh, he’s singing to his persimmons tonight. They’ve been a little sour lately. –Sookie

It’s really fun to say- “hey I know that person. I see him every day and so far, he hasn’t bitten me. – Lorelai about Kirk

Episode 20:  – If we were gazelles, we’d be the first ones eaten at the watering hole. –Rory

Episode 21: Hey, how many margaritas is too many margaritas? Lorelai
When you can’t find the living room anymore. - Rory
Okay- I’m still good!- Lorelai

Episode 22: Oye with the poodles already.

Remember it’s really wrong to gossip, unless it’s true or way too good not to tell everyone you see, whether you know them or not. –Lorelai

Season 3:
Episode 2: I’d like to have a good illness. Something different, impressive. Just once I’d like to be able to say, “Yea I’m not feeling so good, my leg is haunted.” –Lorelai

Episode 5: Come here you have dirt on your forehead. Oh- just kidding, it’s the mark of the devil.- Lorelai

Remember only one or two crackheads at the most over. They eat all the good cereal.- Lorelai

Episode 9:
But he [Kirk the cat] doesn’t have apposable thumbs.- Rory
He’s beyond them. He’s smart. He knows things sometimes before they happen. –Kirk
Get ahold of yourself man. – Lorelai
You haven’t even heard the worst. When the attacks got particularly brutal, I had no choice but to strip naked and hide under water in the bathtub. I read that cats are afraid of water. Kirk isn’t. He found me. He seemed to derive greater power from the water. That’s the when the bulk of the scratching happened. – Kirk

Episode 12: Bad seed of Nixon. – Rory to Paris

Episode 13: It’s from my mother…’s heavy. It must be her hopes and dreams for me. – Lorelai
I thought she discarded those years ago. – Rory

Dear Mom and Dad, I’m in labor. See you later, Lorelai. – Emily

Episode 17: Very weird vibe in here. Very Poe. – Lorelai.

Episode 22: We have flying deer? -Luke

Season 4:
Episode 2: Copper Boom. – Lorelai and Rory

Episode 3: My mother’s been here. It smells like guilt and Chanel Number 5.- Lorelai

Episode 13: It’s a complete disaster!!- Emily
My existence? –Lorelai

Episode 15: Why is Kirk talking to his man purse? –Lorelai

Episode 16:
Smell my eggs.- Kirk
Not today Kirk. – Lorelai

Episode 20:
I stop drinking the coffee. I stop doing the standing, and walking and the words into sentence doing. –Lorelai

Every day that you breathe you make my life harder. – Michel

Episode 22:
Tom, I love you like a $2 whore. - Lorelai
Great- I’ll tell the wife. – Tom

Season 5:
Episode 1: Only prostitutes have 2 glasses of wine at lunch. –Richard

Episode 3: No Rory, the great man was not brought down by my vagina. – Paris

Episode 9: Who is this? –Lorelai
This is you in 20 years. WHO IS THIS? – Emily

Episode 10:  Rory Gilmore, you should be ashamed of yourself. Toying with these boys like this. They used to have pride. They use to have dignity. They use to have balls.  Dammit, Gilmore, give them back their balls. –Finn   (the epic scene (and my favorite) where Colin and Logan pretend to fight over Rory and Finn pretends to be a Bobby and breaks up their false fighting while Rory’s in class.

Buttface miscreant. -Rory

Episode 11: If I run into any moderately weighted whores in my travels, I’ll let you know. –Luke

Lorelai, how would you like to play our woman of easy virtue? – Taylor

My girlfriend is the whore!!!! -Kirk

Episode 13: When a woman gives birth to a crack baby you do not buy her a puppy. –Emily

Focus please. -Richard
I am a camera. –Lorelai

Season 6:
Episode 1: Whatever you do, don’t tell the maids [the panic room code]. They tell their kids and then they grow up and rob you. –Emily

Episode 4:
He’s snarky.- Lorelai
And sarcastic.- Sookie
He’s snarcastic. – Lorelai

Episode 5: I bet the Romanovs never RSVPed either. They got theirs. - Paris

Episode 7:  Go find your psychotic dog and I’ll set the table.- Luke

Hey, you can pull link sausages out of me if you want. – Luke (great end of the episode line)

Episode 11:  We leave the tv on, even when we’re not here. Rush Limbaugh, so the neighbors know we have guns. – Paris

I’m am not your mother or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker. If you’re having a bad day, find a ledge or a way to deal. – Paris

Episode 14:
What is this feeling? This tightness in the chest, this anger mixed with paralyzing weakness? – Luke
You’ve been Gilmored. – Lorelai  

Episode 19: Which one says “Hi I’m not a whore, enjoy your day.” –Lorelai

58 seats. 62 Koreans. –For Lane’s wedding (Rory and Lorelai and Miss Patty)

Episode 21: Normally I don’t like men’s hair so short. It makes them look like a convict or a masseuse. –Emily

Season 7:
Episode 2: Shut up loinfruit.- Lorelai

Episode 3: Gilmore do you see any of my students falling in love with me? No. And you know why: Because you don’t fall in love with people that make you want to crap your pants. –Paris.

Episode 6: My system is I open the mail once a month. –Lorelai

Episode 7: Mom, I’m pregnant. We waited until after we were married. If you don’t believe us, we have a note from our doctor, which doesn’t prove anything but it does firmly…….- Lane
Hit me, hit me, hit me! It’s my fault!- Zack

Episode 15:
I swear, moths are like the loser butterflies that couldn’t get laid if they tied a $100 bill to their…- TJ

I am kayak, hear me roar. – Lorelai (meaning she is independent)

Episode 16: God knows my mom and I have differences. –Lorelai
Yes, God does know.- Mrs. Kim

Would you be their Lorelai Gilmore?- Lane

Episode 17:  I mean, I’ve got my mom, but she’s not so much a family member as a patrol officer.  – Lane

Episode 21: I have to lean. This woman in front of my keeps rocking back and forth. It’s like sitting behind Ray Charles. - Emily


  1. Pretty much any line from Michel is a favorite & my love began with: "People are particularly dumb today. I can’t talk to any more of them." Ha, ha!

    1. I feel like he has the best lines. Well, him and Paris.